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Head Full of Thoughts @ Midnight
I’ve talked to a handful of friends lately and we all seem to be on a similar journey for truth. We’re trying to discover ourselves, our purpose, what’s important to us, and why it’s important. We’re dreaming up the best version of ourselves. Then trying to map out the distance between who we are and who we want to be.
There’s something sobering about all this. It gives you the feeling that there is something more important to life and makes you wonder if there really is a reason to live with intention.
Here’s what I’ve found along the way...
Since I was 4 years old, I’ve been told that God has a purpose for me. But I’ve only lately sat back and really thought about that. God, the Creator of all things ever made, has a unique purpose for me. Me. Along with every single human being to ever walk this planet. And possibly Mars. That’s huge. But I believe it.
Growing up in church all my life, I’ve picked up many great promises and ideals, but until I’ve sorted them through and digested them for myself, it’s nothing but a stack of unused truths. I’ve believed things without allowing the weight of their reality to hit me. That’s why I love where I’m at right now. I don’t have it all together and I don’t know all the answers. And I’m the first to admit it. I’m taking inventory of what’s in my head and deciding on whether or not I’ll let it slide down to my heart.
I don’t think I’ll ever understand grace. But I know I need it. And more importantly, I know I need the God who gives it.
Monday, August 1, 2011
It’s hard trying to be who you want to be. It’s hard following God’s plan. It’s not natural for a human to be holy, but that’s what God asks. And He knows we’ll mess up. We’ll mess up ourselves and each other. But He doesn’t expect us to stay down. Get up. Every time.
When you sit down and think about following God’s plan and being holy, it means more than just a nicely phrased sentence. It kind of sucks. It means saying no to what the body wants. What the hormones want. What the attitude wants. What the mind wants. It means following someone who is bigger and stronger and more able to be right. I think the big question is whether or not it’s worth it. Is it worth it to be holy? It’s a question worth wrestling.
I’ve come to the conclusion that God is my only hope. I can try my hardest to be the best person I can, but what does it matter if there is nothing to look forward to? What is the point of life apart from the hope of something greater? What hope is there apart from Jesus? I wasn’t able to find any.
Life is like an ocean- tides turning in and out. Everything is constantly changing. People are in and out of our lives. Trends change more than humanly necessary. Philosophy is shifting as the face of modernity gets a facelift every 2 seconds. The world is spinning and nothing is constant but Jesus; He’s always been the same. I know I can’t live my life according to the most “hip” or recent thing out there. I know what’s real based on the fact that God is who He says He is. It’s up to me to believe Him or not. And we each have that choice.